The boss and his inefficient subordinate

It's not methee.. it's you with your expectations and me trying to meet your deadlines. It's stressful, unnatural and takes away all motivation - why bother trying to please you if it's expected of me anyway.. if it's expected of me then it's not special. If it's not special, then it's nothing.

It's you telling me how to love you. I feel like I'm never good enough. You make me feel that way. Don't give expecting something in return. Expect nothing.. only then can I, with my heart, exceed all possible expectations, and express my love to it's boundless abundance.

I'm not going to say you are wrong, or that I am right, for that seems to incite only more dilemma-- I am only going to tell you that what you have just uttered to me is very unconventional and may universally sound distasteful and unfitting in the context of two individuals who say they are in love and willing to spend their lives in one anothers arms...

I would like to first start off with sharing my view on this topic of "expectation"-- I believe that what make a husband-wife and soulmate-soulmate relationship unique and distinct from any other human relation is the specialness of having internal comfort of mutual expectation, such that the other can always be relied upon and expected to be there and take that extra mile for them. Such that each one can look in the others eye and say with certainty "expect the world from me" and really mean it.

Without expectations we are nothing and feel empty in this world.. It is only through expectations of warmth, committment, and love that the human mind is in true harmony, otherwise we are in a cold vacuum. I cannot fathom living with someone whom I cannot expect to be faithful to me, or do things I ask for, or strive to make me happy and be sincere in their promises. IN turn I would expect that they have the same expectations from me. To me these are fundamentals, as they are to any normal human being on this planet. I would want to be comforted by hearing "Yes you should expect this from me", rather than "Don't expect anything from me, have low expectations from me". How can I live like that?

How can one be content when they internally have no faith, no expectation from their soulmate? Shouldn't both you and I expect one another to be there for each other always? Shouldn't I have the expectation that when I lie sick, you will care for me? Should I not be assured and content with such expectations from my future wife?


"if it's expected of me then it's not special. If it's not special, then it's nothing"-- I don't like this viewpoint, instead allow me to share what I think of this. By knowing what kind of behavior you expect from me, I know what makes you happy and is to your liking. Thus I can do one of two things:

1) I can undermine it, and forget it about it-- and in turn make you feel like crap and undeserving

or

2) I can naturally be in line with that expectation without taking effort, OR strive and not rest until I appreciate you by be in accord with expectations, and in turn allow you to feel warm and assured that in this cold world you have one person who makes you happy and you can rely on.

By doing #2, I will be content in knowing that I have done something that is beneficial to your mood and has made you happy... this in itself is 'special'. Because I love you, your pain is my pain, and your happiness is my happiness.


-m

You'll have a good counter argument, as always.. and I'll look like the fool, as always. You'll be satisfied that you have the last word, and I'll let you have it, unknowingly to my demise - because then I'm the one automatically in the wrong every other subsequent misunderstanding.

"It was in a teasing tone and had a *mach* in it".. Ofcourse, because you'll never admit otherwise. You are the harmless one always in the right, and me the paranoid one who always misinterprets and takes things badly. By default, I'm wrong. I would have argued that the underlying message was very clear amongst the tease and the mach.. but what do I know, I'm just a half-wit failure.

Forgive you? Forgive you for what? You were only teasing, and I took it wrong.. so what are you to be forgiven for? For making me feel bad? That's even more offensive - you're apologising for MY short-coming?

Fine, you're forgiven.. because I'm a good obedient wife like that.

Afareen, good girl.

-s