A wish right now..

I wish I could just hold you.. just me and you.. in isolation.. in each others arms.. as we both hold tight and cry.... pressing our cheeks together....holding firmly each others head.... relieving ourselves of all the tension between us and in our lives.. forgetting about anything else that exists in our world..

Then at the end of the cry... looking up to one anothers eyes.. slowly letting our lips form smiles as we look in mutual admiration... and at that moment.. together in bliss.. the Angel of death takes our soul into that better place so very promised in so many creeds... I wish..

-m

The curse

Things aren't going so sweet and charming between us right now.. No matter how hard I try the last few days..I can clearly see that there is no more joy left in her for me.. towards me there is no more charm and sweetness left in her heart.. no more "jans" or warm gestures that is so characteristic of her.. not with me anymore.. with others I am sure. My text message of warm gestures now go without acknowledgment into a dark cyber world.. my e-kisses unattended.. my emails replied with an obvious attempt to indirectly make a statement with its tone.. probably going back and deleting anything that may sound warm, perhaps not knowing exactly why she is doing this... This is happening likely due to expression of my feelings on some shortcomings that she acknowledges the existence of as well, or perhaps due to something more interesting in nature that I keep unaware of.. the human mind works and responds to feelings in odd ways, often shutting out certain urges spontaneously.. I notice this to be a common theme amongst us emotional beings.. but all it does is create more internal chaos in the soul... and eventually guilt and regret.

I have become a prolific writer and an elaborate thinker with little sleep .. in a sense isolating myself into a lonely compartment.. so lonely in here.. with the ticking of the clock as my companion.. I am in a quest of finding myself.. a crucial moment in my life.. should I succomb to the depression of knowledge of a fatal affliction.. or plow forcefully ahead as if nothing is wrong? Everyday is like a new battle as I wake up thinking if I should leave my bed or just lie there.. forcing myself to cheer up as I walk to work looking to the graveyard opposite the street I walk on..wondering how those bodies have died.. at work often being probed by colleagues' seemingly concerned looks, whispers, and the occasional "are you ok"....downess even sensed by Dr.S within the last couple weeks.. not able to fall asleep in the nights as again and again reality hits me.. sometimes screaming into my pillow as I grab its edges and bury my face into it.. rolling from side to side.. what have I done for this.. oh God to you I have given thanks after every meal even amidst my blasphemy... why me.. a person who wants to feed and help the very people you have damned?


I realise I am alone in this quest, with this affliction that no one even brings up.. or comforts me about... this affliction that I have kept a secret except to 3 people.. often I yearn to reach out and release on someones warm shoulder, but I cannot share this knowledge, fearing that I do not want to burden anyone.. especially Dr.S whom I fear of burdening the most.. for I do not want her every moment with me a burdensome experience, although it seems to be going towards that way regardless of my efforts to elicit the opposite...

People so isolated into their own worlds and lost in their own emotions and feelings and desires.. it would be so nice if they step into my shoes for one moment.. ahh, they would fall to the ground and give thanks for the very things they take for granted everyday.. So indulged we humans can be in our personal dilemmas and egos that we become blind and insensitive.. so caught up in our sensitivities that we fail to see the grander scheme of things..

I have been earnestly exploring the meaning of life.. religion.. agnostisicm.. what should I do.. who should I make happy most.. should I.. or should I not.. what is love.. what is contentment.. what if I become destroyed.. what decisions about education.. my family.. mom.. mom.. disappointment.. what what what.. questions questions.. uncertainty about every aspect of my life as I sit and think and zoom into the details of everything going on around me.. all the result of knowledge of uncertainty of my viable existance. I have been cursed.


-m

4:37am.. sitting in the silence of my lonely apartment, probably not a person around within a 2 mile radius.. laptop on my lap.. staring to my hands on the keyboard humming to myself.. all I hear is the ticking of the clock.. and a last sentence occured to me..

"From disorder to order, life as we know it emerges and evolves, for no reason but to fuel a faster rate of thermodynamic disorder and degeneration in this ever expanding universe…"

My eyes fiercly focus towards the screen at the words I had just typed.. a couple minutes pass.. I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment and lean back on my chair..

I put my computer aside, and slowly looked away with a strange feeling as I stared at the shining moon from my window.. more than 15mins elapsed as I sat there with a strange feeling in a sort of dark thought.. biting my lower lip.. what if what I write is true?

-m

Somewhere Over the Rainbow..

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2A2Jt4WOxN8

^ I love this version of this song. It makes me feel all warm and happy inside. I can't help but feel optimistic of the future when I listen to this song.. blissful ignorance? Whatever, it still feels good.

Enjoy :)


-s



Gosh, that tune was so therapeutic..
-m

Cleaning binge

I stumbled out of bed today.. my hair all over the place.. such a cold lonely morning, I feel so empty and my soul restless.. I walked to the bathroom as my jewels were hanging out of my boxers for some reason.. I pee.

My roomate yells.. "dang its cold, as he cringes in his bed".... I reply "what are you talking about, its not that cold.. you should get your thyroid checked out, you may have hypothyroidism, you're always cold fool".

Or maybe its me.. maybe it was really that cold and my senses feel only slightly cold.. how do I know? I look to my phone and read "6 missed calls from kabul".. oh thats great, the moment couldn't get anymore cold.. I lie down on my bed.. and bury my face into the pillow..

I get up about 10 minutes later.. and stumble into the living room.. and stare around.. gosh so messy, what the hell was going on in there I thought.. the cleaning binge began..

Washed my bed sheets, my blanket, my clothes, reorganized my desk, my bookshelf, took out the trash, vacuumed, dusted.. ahhhhhhhhhh sighhhhh feels so good now..

Its strange that I've developed these urges to clean all the time within the last year.. I used to drive my parents crazy with my messiness... my mom just cant imagine me having a nice organized room with my clothes folded nicely in my closet.. niether can my dad.. its like an inside joke that they tell everyone about "ohhh Dr. M never cleans his room.. his undies all over the place".

People do change..

-m

Room 1

It was today.. 1 year ago.. in that room, the window we can barely see in this window.. those patches of grass were kissed by our feet as we held one another.. after our First, the initiation of souls fully interwined as the centers of our source united.. sweet bright blood of innocence tasted by the fresh white linen.. her virgin essence not brought to me by man-made ceremony, but by deep rooted love, passion, and trust..

I arrived into LHR in the late evening.. 11:30PM. Walking to the border patrol gate, the old english man stares into my eyes "where you onto lad?".... "I need to get to stokes poges in Slough, sir".. he seemed very kind and helpful, and walked me to the taxi line.. "well its too late now to take the tube, taxi is only option". The airline had lost my luggage, my toothbrush and shaving kit were in it.. I asked the cab driver, a chubby middle-aged man with a thick Irish accent, to stop at any open store along the way. He asked me where I'm off to and why, and we got into a little conversation about nutrition and fitness--he wanted to lose weight. I arrived at the hotel half nearly 1am, a very cheery and considerate young lady showed me to my room.. Room 1. She came back twice to make sure all was well with a strange smile and sense of mischief on her face.

I looked around the room, so elegant and mysterious.. the wind and freezing temperatures could be felt by simply staring out of the window.. I pulled the curtains, turned on the heat.. very tired, yet excited at the same time that I would see my Love in 8 hours! We promised to meet at 8:30. I was really hungry.. and saw some cookies near the teapot, and ate them at once.

Lying on the bed.. I stared at the red dot of light eminating from the large TV in front of me.. "THUMP" a random noise bounced to my ear startling me.. my eyes wide open.. my heart skips a beat.. silence ensues for the next few minutes.. "THUMP" the tv sounds as if it will fall from wall.. Silence follows once again as I lie there.. thinking to myself.. could this old mansion in the middle of the countryside be haunted?

I awake and look to the time.. 7:30am.. take a warm shower.. check my emails.. and sit in front of the TV.. pressing on its corners in various combinations to see if I could re-create the noises I heard in the night.. I could not. It's 8:30am.. I look to the window.. walk outside.. stare.. wait. I come back to my room, stumble through my phone to find her mobile, "baby" I hear her sweet voice.. she is on her way. The clock turns 10:15am.. and I could not take the hunger and walk downstairs to eat breakfast.. the maid, very nice, gives me a warm smile and brings the tea to my table..

As I began to eat.. my back facing the entrance.. staring into the open, green land, visible from the large windows in front of me.. I hear footsteps approaching fast down the stairs and towards the room.. I knew it was her.. as I sat with a forkful of eggs going to my mouth.. she embraces me from behind and urgently plants her sweet warm lips to my face as her delicate hands wrap around me.. coming from the freezing temperatures of the london winter breeze, her cheek felt so cold on my face, yet the soft tenderness of it felt soo delightful.. I embrace her head and plant a long kiss on that cheek.. her hair so soft, her smell so fresh, her face so sweet.. I feel so relieved she made it to my presence; inside I feel so warm. I pull the chair next to me.. gesturing her to join me and eat...

Suprisingly we were still a bit awkward with one another..

*to be continued* -m

We called him Junior..

One and a half inches big, half the size of my index finger, beginning to take form. A mass of cells or a newborn soul? I struggled with this thought for weeks. Am I supposed to love him? I suppose I didn't at the time, not as much as I do now that he's gone. It was only upon realisation at the extent of his development that I really began to love him. But it was too late for love, he was gone, captured by the blizzard and taken away. Torn out of his snug cradle without warning and pulled into an unfamiliar machine so cold and foreign. And now he lies somewhere.. in a jnr dumping ground? or respectfully laid to rest somewhere? I didn't think to ask of his fate. Why didn't I ask? Didn't I care? So consumed in my own pain, I didn't think of the undeserved pain I had inflicted on him..

I'm inclined to refer to him as a he.. I don't know why.. just one of those feelings. My little miracle. A product of our love. Half of each of us in literal union. When two become one, in more than just the sentimental romantic sense of the phrase. A sweet little bud waiting to bloom with beautiful colours. Unfortunately he was sown at an inconvenience, and his blooming had to be ceased, for reasons that are quite justified. Still, it's unfair that he had to exist in the first place without allowing him to progress to his full potential. I hope he forgives us.

I guess my regret is that I (we) did not pay him the attention he deserved while he was with us. Engrossed in our own activities, we failed to acknowledge him sincerely. I regret not telling him that I loved him. Am I being too sentimental? Would he have heard me anyway? Was he even a "he", or was it simply an "it"?

I do love him. And I pray that his soul, if he had one, is resting in peace.
You will be recreated little one, in due time..


-s

That last image..

That last image: back turned, hand on door, bag on hunky shoulder, scarf wrapped around neck.. so handsome, so striking, my man. And with a cheeky grin and kiss blown at me, away he went.. my knight in shining armour departs, back into the depths of my dreams, memories only to be accessed by unfulfilled yearns.

My man.. I sat for a while and thought about that after he left, still tasting his sweet kisses, still feeling his warm hands on my face, his heavenly voice echoing in my ear, cherishing each particle of his scent left behind. I looked down at the book he had given me and the Gap envelope of which I knew the contents, held them to my chest and wept. I wept with gratitude, with appreciation at what I had. What I had was the world. I bowed my head in humility and thanked Him, Whoever, Whatever He was, I thanked Him for my man, for bringing him to me, for allowing our union.

Conscious that I had to leave, I made one last check of the room (ok, 3 checks lol) and packed my things. Half way out, I had one last glance at our temporary lodging, that we made into our heavenly abode. Our garden bloomed. I smiled and left with a spring in my step.

Until the next time my love, I shall cherish that last image..


-s

The only think lacking in my life is my beautiful sweet maro, whom I have been pining for so badly the past few days :'(

-s



Yeah.. pining seems to be quite intense.. I tend to analyse it in myself with a smirk and wonder.. what is this.. just close my eyes and take it in.. take in the feelings.. ahh.. let it simmer through my body.. emotions are a phenomenon.. the intense ones tend to open windows into ourselves.. really makes one learn of oneself, and look at your soul face to face struggling with your mind.. I now understand why many sufi masters, upon a seeking sudent coming to their steps, they would ask the student "have you ever been in love?", and if the student said "no", they told him to go and fall in love first, and then come back.. for only then they could become a sufi. Why was this the case?

-m

Constipation + God = Cereal

"During the early 19th century, most Americans subsisted on a diet of pork, whiskey, and coffee. It was hell on the bowels, and to many Christian fundamentalists, hell on the soul, too. They believed that constipation was God’s punishment for eating meat. The diet was also blamed for fueling lust and laziness. To rid America of these vices, religious zealots spearheaded the country’s first vegetarian movement. In 1863, one member of this group, Dr. James Jackson, invented Granula, America’s first ready-to-eat, grain-based breakfast product. Better known as cereal, Jackson’s rock-hard breakfast bricks offered consumers a sin-free meat alternative that aimed to clear both conscience and bowels."


Constipation as God's punishment for eating meat.. that is something quite fascinating.. God has such unique punishments.. hmm .. "Today I will clog your ass for eating meat, and I won't even tell you why I am clogging up your ass, you should just assume that its probably because you are eating meat"..... You have quite a sense of humour Mr. God.

Nontheless.. Dr. Jackson did come up with something healthy :)

-m

On my way to her

December 2 through December 5..

Was a wonderful meeting between us.. The availability of my phone, and convenience of the locations of the secret places of love & rest made this a very stress-free.. relaxed.. fullfilling.. embracement, moreso than any of our past encounters inside the Foggy City. Everything smooth.. almost mystical like was our gestures towards one another..

To describe my journey..

On my way to the Foggy City.. the night before so excited.. frantically finishing up my projects, thinking I would sleep on the plane.. the plane ride there.. reached stop one, and looked at the time, there was only 20 minutes left before the next flight out of philadelphia.. I became quite nervous and uneasy.. thinking to myself, how unprofessional these

"to be continued"...

I love thee,
I love but thee
With a love that shall not die
Till the sun grows cold,
And the stars grow old...

"Most Kind, Most Merciful"

How does a being, who boasts of unmatchable kindness and boundless mercy, be so cruel? Yet still, this same being has 1.6 billion devotees loyally bowing to Him 5 times a day, offering their thanks in worship. Thanks for what? For being brought into the world and being subject to hardship after hardship? And we excuse this as a "trial from God", "to test our imaan". Why does God need to test us?

God, with His boundless love and mercy, subjects His creation to starvation, disease, torture and death.
God, with His boundless love and mercy, allows the existence of shaitan, to tempt His creation, who fall victim and are then punished in hell.
God, with His boundless love and mercy, creates for His creation companions and instills between them love, only to take them away.
All praise be to Him.. Rahman, Raheem.

And the greatest sin is shirk.. association of something with God. Not murder, not stealing, not cheating.. but shirk. God's biggest peeve is anyone suggesting that He is not the greatest. A conceited and boastful God, who funnily enough dislikes these very characteristics in His own creation. God created humans to worship Him, to tell Him 5 times a day how great He is. Allahu akbar. Why does He need to be worshipped? An insecure God needing reassurance from His creation that He is indeed the Greatest and the Only? It's a little unnerving somewhat..

Our Song ♥

Ageh Ye Rooz

Ageh ye rooz beri safar,

Beri ze pisham bi khabar

Asire royaha misham

Dobareh baz tanha misham

Beh shab migam pisham bemoone

Beh bad migam ta sob bekhoone

Bekhoone az diyare yari

Chera miri tanham mizari?

Ageh faramoosham koni,

Tarke aghoosham koni

Parandeye darya misham,

Too chang-e mowj raha misham

Beh del migam khamoosh bemoone

Beh bad migam ta sob bekhoone

Bekhoone az diyare yari,

Ke toosh mano tanha nazari

Ageh ye roozi noome tow,

Too gooshe man seda koneh

Dobareh baz ghamet biyad,

Ke mano mobtala koneh

Beh del migam karish nabashe,

Bezare darde tow dava she

Bereh tooye tamoome joonam,

Ke baz barat avaz bekhoonam

Ageh bazam delet mikhad,

Yare yekdigar bashim

Mesale ayoome ghadim

Beshinim o sahar pashim

Bayad delet rangi begire,

Dobareh ahangi begire

Beh gire rang-e oon diyari,

Keh toosh mano tanha nazari

Ageh mikhay pisham bemooni

Biya ta baghiyeh javooni

Biya ta poost beh ostokhooneh

Nazar delam tanha bemoone

Bezar shabam rangi begire

Dobareh ahangi begire

Begireh rang-e oon diyari

Keh toosh mano tanha nazari

Luhh

O Love, O pure deep Love, be here, be now,
Be all – worlds dissolve into your
stainless endless radiance,
Frail living leaves burn with your brighter
than cold stares –
Make me your servant, your breath, your core.

-- Rumi.

♥

An Actress..

Soul mates -- surely not descriptive of two people who do not understand each other. Or at least one who does not understand the other.

This perfect being is right most of the time, but often wrong when it comes to her. She who holds nothing from him, gives all and everything, sacrifices, risks, feels no need to hide anything from him, feels no need to "act" before him. She who provides him with no reason for skepticism. Why then do doubts still surface? Understandible? Not anymore.. not now..

What is she to do to relieve his doubts? Act? - the irony..

The Perfect Being

There was a man.. the greatest to ever roam the earth. A man of great character, he was gentle in his words, graceful in his ways, yet striking in appearance. His thick dark locks fell over and softly framed his handsome face. His perfect eyes shone with sincerity and genuinity. His soft, tanned hands so healing. His smooth lips spoke wisdom of incomprehendable intelligence. Not a single falsehood passed his teeth. Enlightened, all knowing.

As geniously intelligent as he was, intimidating he was not. Approachable and trusting, he softened the hearts of all with whom he crossed paths.. especially hers. She fell deeply and blissfully. Her world revolved around his. Only his guidance she would seek and only his approval she worked towards. On every word she hung, thirsty for more. Obsessive, addicted. She became him somewhat. Stepped in his footprints, drank from his cup, chased his shadows. She followed like a lost puppy in search of her bearer. Adopting him as her guardian, she lives for him, and would stop living, for him.

The perfect being.. well, almost.. this shepherd believed that the past tense of 'ring' was "ringed". Perhaps it is. If he so wishes, it shall be..

Pen in my mouth.. sitting there.. looking intensely onto the screen analyzing priviledged data only few in the world can witness... thinking.. hmming.. nodding.. my heartbeat breaking the silence of the dark.., as green and red lights flash onto the wall from my machines, reflecting onto my iris..



I stretched.. decided to check my email.. log on.. and on msn there she was.. I became quite surprised and my lips formed a faint smile... I message her.. she messages me back.. she says she can't go back to sleep, I smile and look forward to a nice conversation as I had missed her for the last 2 days and wanted to hear what she had been up to, and tell her about my trip, talk about some random ideas, and interesting things I wanted to hear her opinion on..exchange usual warmness from the soul.. before we could even begin talking, and get over with the boring dullness of the business idea I was telling her about that I feel no passion about, before I could begin sharing with her some thoughts and worthwhile... security enabled machinery sensed my use of public internet and shut down my whole system as to prevent data leakage..



Damn.. I hastily try to reboot the system.. thinking in the back of my mind how much I wanted to speak with her, under my breath urgently whispering "please work, please turn back on".. takes awhile to reboot.. *sigh of relieve* internet signal turn on after 8 mins.. I sign on to meemseen... she is gone.. sms is sent across the pond: "bia".. staring at the computer screen waiting eagerly for her to come on.. she responds that she suddenly feels sick and wants to lie down, and there is cancellation of our convo tomorrow.. "plz bia.. diq shudam.. 4 me".. a story about mum and A arises in the reply.. what can I say to this? What is her mum doing at 330am? Surely that is untouchable, and compliance to such news is the only option... "ok fine dear, sleep well".. Disappointed that she couldn't sign on for even 5-10 minutes... I comply.. she senses my disappointment as it becomes obvious..



In that darkness, I sat for 10 minutes.... an exchange of a few text messages with cliched "xo's" elapsed.. staring onto the dark wall.. thought about the sad reality.. I realized a reminder of pathetic reality had just givin me a nudge. Feeling empty.... unable to have total control and open up to the other heart, restrained from full access whenever you want.. perhaps the worst feeling a man can have, certainly for me it is the worst and only aspect of my life that I would want to erase from my psyche.. Why do I not erase it? Who wants such feelings? I surely don't.. but something radically keeps me latched on with an unwavering intensity and urgency that the angels of death may envy.... what that something is I am beginning to think about and wonder more and more..

I thought a moment of my assignment on another land.. thinking to myself.. what am I becoming.... becoming something that one can only fantasize about.. where will this lead me.. to my demise.. or to my rise.. the latter is the prize, while the former will only be a surprise.

Got out of the room.. my roomates lecture one another on magnetic feilds and circuits.. and with a smile I call them geeks.. and lie down on the couch after I sip some tea.. reach my hand under the couch and pull out one of my books.. "cholecystokinin".. this affects the NTS in the brainstem.. interesting..



Tired.. I brush my teeth.. decide to email her the rest of the convo.. and perhaps write on this blog that seems to be only conveying the deep thoughts of one person.. how symbolic and ironic.. intended for 2, but there is only 1.. me.. alone.

well.. to put an image.. you just click customise.. and click edit on the "title".. played around with it a bit.. machim diga.. you're the "designer curtain girl".. jorish ko diga

-mj

I totally agree that what the video portrays of Islam is absolutely true, and had I not been a muslim I too would not be too fond of the religion. Anyone can make up an anti story about muslims and publish it, but pictures cannot be created. You're right, muslims themselves have provided the ammunition, and now they must reap the consequences. However, a member would say something like "these people have been driven to extremism by non muslims who seek to expolit us. We condemn the actions of such muslims, but we also understand where the hatred comes from. Mj, can you sympathise with the above? Can you sympathise with the anger? I, personally, can't see any justification for such behaviour. But I'm also aware that these muslims are uneducated and don't know how to fight intelligently, so does that put them entirely at fault?

I'm glad that you agree with me dearak, because this very fact is not agreed upon by many in the ummah, and lack of acknowledging this fact is the root of all of the ummah's problems, in my opinion (perhaps others may disagree). Individuals who say this are using the same worn out argument that I have heard for the past 4 years from almost every muslim activist I've spoken to. To put it frankly, the only reason why muslims are conjuring up excuses for the palestinian's tactics is... because they are muslim. Any intelligent and objective individual who looks at the history of this dilemma, and the tactics employed by both the jews and the palestinians will realise that the palestinians brought this upon themselves, and the zionists are no worse, but perhaps even morally superior as they seek to protect their grandchildren. It's a competition of understandable interests.

Absolutely.. I agree with you. There should be no understanding or sympathy with UNJUST acts, no matter WHO does it where. Period. The Muslim community can't seem to grasp this, because.. the killers share their identity.. muslim.

I really think the problem lies within Islam itself. There are elements within this imperfectly worded creed that is enabling these oppressed victims to channel their anger through, justify injustice, and hijack minds and innocent lives. There are elements in this creed that is enabling extreme interpretation by scholars people look up to without question (as the religion itself, in a sense, allows for the fortification of the notion of the imam being the supreme leader and knowing more than the common man, whose words we must absorb and accept without doubt-- I'm sure you have witnessed this). Without this aforementioned medium, or web of "religious justification for terrorism", suicide-bombing, hate-speech, and destruction of innocent lives would be non existant by muslims no matter how oppressed they become, because they would have no way to justify murder, and mobilize thousands into their web of terrorism under the context of it being justified (and western media would not have as much ammunition to fire). If religious scholars absolutely forbade extreme interpretations, do you think suicide bombing of innocent civilians would exist? Extremist Islam has existed far before the onset of contemporary israeli warfare... it has not been a sole product of zionist "oppression". If this was true, why would a young man raised in London and never subject to oppression, who always had food, clothing, and loving parents, who once became exposed to islam and heard some imams speak, developed a desire to kill innocent people for "jihad's sake"? Recent UK car bombings were done by two british-trained physicians with comfortable lives, what drove them to injustice? Oppression?

Millions of people get exploited and oppressed.. do they all become suicide bombers and kill random people on the street, inlcuding women and children? Hmm.. what do you think?

Lastly, I don't think it matters to say whether these muslims are at fault or not, it's not for me or you to decide and judge.. the reality is that they are currently engaging in ridiculous behavior that goes against all views of morality.. and this is invoking zionist response that is making even the good muslims look bad. To ameliorate the latter, getting rid of the former should be made the ultimate priority of all muslim activists and those that are truly "awakened".

-mj

Hello dearest,

Wowww your friend is partaking in similar activities? Please can you tell me more about his group and what exactly they do. Also, what does he think of the Obsession video? Did he agree with your analysis of it?


Hello to thee m'lady,

Well, its common thing for the pious university students nowadays to be involved in protecting what they stand for, protecting the label that defines who they are, whether its christians, muslims, or jews... at least that is what I have noticed here. I would have to say that at my uni, a small group of muslims, a dozen at most, even some from the infamous msa, have done amazing things like create free clinics, mentoring, science tutoring programs for jail in youth, and publishing the largest university-run islamic newspaper called "Al-talib" (whose editor recently got into Harvard Law School), and usually are the top students in many courses. However, there is the overwhelming majority of muslims that engage in a lot the of typical bullcrap that makes my fellow secular naturalistic folk and I cringe and grind our teeth. They are not more than simply whiners that play the victim card, that waste their time with their beards, caps, and hijabs as they forcefully preach and have festive social events full of garbage. As they try to "awaken" people, and force into their hands "enlightening" pamphlets that people only barely glance at and throw in the trash when they walk away (of course this is only my opinion and not necessarily fact). Nonetheless, I will admit that there are a few muslims doing some good for the community and the ummah at my uni.

My roomate is involved with the paper and msa, but spends more time on his engineering projects and is only vaguely active (I thought he was heavily active, but apparently now), and did some sort of internship with a large (in my opinion quite biased and useless) organization known as CAIR. He agreed with my opinion about the DVD.

-mj

If I got a dime for every moment I experienced the tremendous yearning to hold her close to my chest, I would be a millionaire today..

-mj

I "el o vee ee" you, just like the birds love the nectar of the sweet plum tree that kisses the depths of the earth with its long, strong roots..

-mj